Pigeon Attack : Engage

I think "St Pauls" is Latin or Old English for "too many steps"; my hostel (YHA St Pauls) put me on the top floor and this building is old, so there is no lift. Just stairs. Many, many stairs. The St Pauls tube station, while not as large as many others I've encountered, has an excessive amount of stairs from platform to street level. And yesterday, I finally got around to buying a stupid ticket so I could go up to the dome of St Pauls Cathedral. I forget the total number of steps (453 or something ?) but I don't go anywhere with stairs except the the church building, so I have no frame of reference for walking up stairs. Four hundred some-odd stairs is a LOT. I did it two days in a row, and it wasn't as bad the second day but it was still not easy.

For lunch on Friday I got a sandwich from the cafe across the street that's run by a bunch of Russian people and took it with me on my tour. People were walking behind me and I kept getting scared that they smelled my sandwich, were onto my plan, and were going to throw me out. My theory was that I could say I worship best with a sandwich, but I digress. My plan was to be like Dan, hide in a corner, and have a sandwich. I did finally find a place to sit and eat half of my sandwich and drink half an Irn-Bru before I decided I probably shouldn't be eating in the church. So I went outside and sat on the steps to finish my sandwich. I wonder now how many touristy pictures I've ended up in...but I started eating and the birds showed up, so I decided to be nice and share.

I gave one bird a tiny piece of bread, and then they multiplied. Bird upon bird arrived at my feet, and like me, they all wanted a bit of tomato, olive and mozzarella sandwich. Four became eight, and eight became twenty, and soon I was surrounded by birds, laughing hysterically at the sight of them pecking all around me. One of them sat upon my knee and another smacked me in the face with his wings. Another flew directly at my face and took some of my sandwich from me while I was eating it. It was just about lunchtime, so there were a crowd of tourists watching me and taking pictures, all staring at me. No one was laughing (because Europeans have no sense of humor and/or lack emotions), but of course I found the situation incredibly funny, and could do nothing but laugh. I grabbed the remainder of my food and drink and ran for safety away from the birds, and they flew all around me as I raced down the steps of the cathedral.

Oh, birds. Birds birds birds. I still can't even think about them without laughing... probably the best thing that's happened so far. Also on that list: Very attractive Swedish man in Camden Town called Simon; eating lunch with fifteen elderly people at a Salvation Army cafe near the Chalk Town tube station; Boot's pharmacies; Swarms of Japanese tourists and their compulsive picture-taking; the coffee and tea store near Oxford Circus; Evensong service at St. Paul's tonight; Chinatown making me feel like I was on another continent.

Australians don't wear shoes.