10. My Favorite Rob

NOTE: I am quite fond of this particular strip of photos, taken in a booth in San Francisco, because in every photo I look not unlike myself, but like myself as a zombie, 1950's housewife, angry Russian woman, or eastern European Jew fleeing from persecution. It is currently my bookmark.


I met Rob a few years ago, one August night, while standing outside of a show in Morgan Hill. I had gone to see Jesse's old band The Northeast, and after watching them, decided I would rather stand outside in the warm summer air than watch the rest of the bands. Waffles was with me, and that attracted one Kevin McCollough to our vicinity. Being quite the charmer, Kevin began to ask me why I was being so antisocial that night (I felt awkward), why I was sitting in the corner (so I could see everyone !) and then told me that the reason I felt bad was because I listened to The Get Up Kids, and how they are the reason he has horrible luck with girls. Really, there is no reasoning with either of the McCollough men, so I just let Kevin talk, no matter how frustrating it was to endure.

Then along came Rob. I don't remember if his band had just played their set, or if they were about to, but Rob ran out of the venue and saw me sitting in a corner and decided to talk to me. We talked about Coalesce and he told me that his ex-girlfriend was in attendance, and since I generally say strange things when I'm talking to people for the first time (or, well, when I'm just talking), I asked, "Do you want me to run her over with my car ? Cos I will if you want me to". Strange thing to offer someone from the get-go, but I guess Rob wasn't scared by it then, nor is he now, as I continue to say weirder and weirder things.

I cannot believe all the crap I have put him through, all that he has helped me through, and how many times he has laughed when I tell him about which guys I have crushes on. I have already decided that he is going to be the maid (man ?) of honor at my wedding, if I ever get to finding a husband (also, he has the right to screen and reject applicants for said husband). He is a man of remarkable patience and love, good advice and movie recommendations, and overall he is just plain... Rob. I can't think of any other word to describe and I'm sure that if you know him, you understand how much of an injustice it is to even attempt to categorize him.

He let me borrow a pair of socks one night when I was feeling particularly alone and horrible and maladjusted, and I kept them. When I moved to Kansas, I wore them almost every day and I called them my "Rob Socks". He was the only person who called me every day. He used to have a monstrously bulky parka, and I would zip myself up in it while watching zombie movies in the cold of Damien's house. He laughed at me one night while I, seated at the friendliest kitchen table in all of Los Gatos, proceeded to embarrass myself beyond belief because of a brown-eyed boy. He discovered the greatest (read: cheapest) meal I have ever had, where the iced tea costs more than your food. He is Totoro. And he is still the same incredibly kind person he was when I met him, even though I have seen him cry and grow and change so much. The only difference is that now, he is vegan, and does his laundry at my house.